Its hard to have to leave a friendship you thought was going to be more at one time.
Where you were planning on moving away from all your friends and family to be with that person.
But its also hard to keep trying when you are in something that is more then a friendship.
I dont want to sit here and sound like a whore, because I never know what is going to happen in my life anymore. I have lost control of most things and I keep trying to not be alone but I feel like its going to make me be alone sooner or later.
Its hard to like two different people, when you have so much history with one but the other one helped with a horrible break up, even though you are sorta back with that person.
My life is confusing as hell. I am about to graduate and I cant even get boys under control let alone focus on graduating. I dont want to be alone, I spent too much of my life alone but what I am doing?
I feel like I am hurting people when everyone is saying they understand. I dont want anyone to be hurt, unless its myself.
I tried to kill myself two weeks ago, and now I dont know why I couldnt go through with it. I am happy but extremely sad at the same time and it sucks dick.
I just want someone to make my decisions for me. I want to live my life without answering to anyone but I also dont want to let anyone go. I am so indecisive that its not even fucking funny.
And now I am spilling my guts out to a social networking site, even though I know no one reads this shit.
I think its time to figure things out. But I know I wont do it.
If you read this, I am sorry. I dont want to drag you along but I just dont know what to do right now. I still love you, and I know you love me. Just so much has happened that I am trying to get over and its fucking hard. And I dont know if I can..
1 week ago with 0 notes